


Can You Hear My Heart?

by AvaCelt



Series: EXO Prompt Fills [11]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 12:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaCelt/pseuds/AvaCelt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter how loud Suho's heart screamed, Kris could never quite hear it calling out to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can You Hear My Heart?

Being sweet of soul was something that prevented Kim Joon Myun from doing many things. Berating his bandmates, for one, was something he could never partake in. Instead he would soothe and comfort and gently break to them the truths of their mistakes in whatever practice, interview, or public event they’d attended. Raising his voice was also something he could never do. Not that he couldn’t, because he certainly could. But for someone like him to raise his voice towards men younger than him and ten times more damaged- Kim Joon Myun didn’t stoop that low, no matter how many times the officials told him he should. 

He was kind of heart, sweet of soul. His smile showed people he could be approached- and that they didn’t have to be afraid. Usually, his smile spoke for him. He didn’t have to open his mouth, or yell, or demand this or that or everything. His actions spoke for themselves, and his actions spoke contently. Hand gestures, bright smiles, a hug. His heart spoke through his movements while his mouth reserved itself for food and for singing. He spoke the brightest way anyone ever could- with a smile.

And people understood. People understood the small smirk that meant “stop it," or the chuckle that said “try again," or the outright laugh that resounded how happy he truly was. Simple gestures with his lips, or a reassuring pat on the shoulder- a language almost anyone could decipher. That was what he used.

So for the life of him, Kim Joon Myun couldn’t understand why Wu Yi Fan, despite all the signs shown, had to be the one person who couldn’t hear a word he said with his closed lips. 

*******

His chest screeched. 

Two minutes later, he allowed himself to unceremoniously collapse on the linoleum below. Kyung Soo clicked his tongue. Jong In rolled his eyes. He chuckled, and the judgmental looks faded and became goofy smiles. The vocalist and the dancer hauled him off the floor and dumped him on the couch before resuming their practice.

His chest screeched again.

M’s leader was a terrible dancer. Everyone knew that. He had a nice face and an alluring voice, but his moves were disconcerting to the eye. Everyone knew, but no one cared. He was a good leader, a nice man, one of the hardest workers in the business. And sometimes, talent wasn’t all Lee Soo Man looked for. 

It screeched again. He punched himself, no doubt leaving a bruise, as M and K worked together to perfect a routine Joon Myun had memorized long ago but refused to show. 

*******

"You know the routine," he deadpanned one day. 

Kim Joon Myun-  _Suho_  -fell on his bum and looked up with confused eyes. The den was empty and he’d just been cleaning up after the other seven or eight members who’d decided it would be super to have a pillow fight in broad daylight.

"Excuse me?"

Wu Yi Fan was not the type to take bullshit as it came. He kicked a pillow away. “You know the routine. Kyung Soo told me you were with the choreographer the night we went out to eat."

Expect Kyung Soo to ruin things unintentionally. That brought a smile to his face. “Yes, yes I did," he admitted. “Is that a problem?"

"Damn straight it’s a problem." 

Now, Joon Myun was a logical man with logical thoughts and a beating heart for the six feet and over Canadian prince. And logic, for the past few years, told him that Wu Yi Fan didn’t hear the constant roars his heart made whenever he was too close or too far. Wu Yi Fan never looked a second time if he waved or threw him a smile or even said hello. Logic told him Wu Yi Fan did not care, so he’d meekly accepted it and let his chest do as it pleased while he left his trademark smile plastered on his face. 

This, however- this was beyond him. “Can I ask why?"

He didn’t expect the fingers to wrap around his shirt collar and hoist him off the carpeted floor. He blinked in astonishment.

"You can start by telling me what the hell is going on with you. We’ve been here for two weeks, yet you’ve avoided group activities outside of schedules like the plague. Did we do something wrong? Are you under pressure from your manager? Tell me so I can help."

The screeching in his chest began again. His voice became hoarse and tired. Yet, Wu Yi Fan did not seem to hear him. 

A painful smile graced his lips. “I’ve been… stressed out more than usual. I apologize for my behavior," he said truthfully, voice slightly cracking. “I assure you, there’s nothing wrong with you all. I’m just a little-"

"-a little what?" Yi Fan demanded. “You don’t even talk during dinner. Eating is one thing. Eating and putting on a fake smile for every question asked- that’s a problem."

If that’s a problem, Joon Myun thought, then you’re the reason for it. But he doesn’t say that and just smiles again.

That breaks Wu Yi Fan. 

"Will you tell me what’s wrong, or do I have to beat it out of you!?"

That makes Joon Myun snort. A really unpleasant, and painful-to-the-ear kind of snort. Even Yi Fan is taken back. But Joon Myun can’t handle his laughs. His anguished, perpetually present laughs. 

"You don’t seem the violent type, duizhang," he whispered kindly. “But I apologize for whatever it is I did to anger you." Being the good young man that he was, he bowed to his elder. 

The fingers left his collar and arms instantly wrapped around his hips and pulled him tightly against a smooth and comforting chest. His voice broke again. His chest clenched. The screeches became louder. 

"Tell me what’s wrong," he felt Wu Yi Fan whisper jarringly into his ear. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can help. I can’t lead a group of people if I can’t understand them. And I don’t understand you. If I can’t understand you, how am I supposed to help you?"

I don’t need your help, he wanted to say. I need you to hear my heart, he wanted to scream. 

The screeches became so loud that a painful ring became to emanate through his eardrums. He squeezed his eyes shut as he pried himself out of the man’s embrace. 

His eyes fluttered open to see narrow slits looking contemplatively back at him. His smile came back. “Relax, Yi Fan." The words sounded so fake. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine. I’m sorry if I worried you." 

Another smile later, he turned back around and crouched to pick up the remaining pillows. Yi Fan trudged out of the room with a resounding slam of the door.

The screams in Joon Myun’s heart did not cease.

*******

"Hyung, come with us," Jong Dae pleaded. “It’s no fun if we only have two thirds of the group."

Yixing, Luhan, and Kyung Soo waved him off. “We’re watching a movie," Kyung Soo explained. “And if hyung wants to stay and watch, then he can." Yixing and Luhan nodded and dug back into their tub of popcorn. 

Jong Dae was about to try again but Joon Myun placed a hand on his shoulder and lightly squeezed. He sputtered and then gave up. He sighed and left the four men to their devices. 

"Movie, Joon Myun?" Luhan asked. 

Joon Myun shook his head and smiled wearily. “I think I’ll catch up on some sleep."

***

He actually needed the sleep. The last few days, after his confrontation with group’s overall leader, were delicate and spent smiling and bowing to the Canadian man and attempting to keep his section of the twelve in line. They did him proud and stayed on their best behavior even if the odd scuffle or two broke out over empty ice cream tins or lost pillows. But besides the rough contours, the crux of the days went smoothly. Yet sleep was still a dream that he kept chasing. It was an off night. The managers were leaving them alone until the evening the following day for a meeting with the officials. 

So he had time to sleep and quell the ache in his chest. Quell it so it didn’t make any noise when he had to present his portion of the report when they went for the meeting.

What he expected was silence, but what he received was the door opening and clicking behind him. He snuggled into his pillow. He guessed one of the members would get tired soon enough and choose a random bed to crash on. Not that Joon Myun minded. No one did. Ever since six became twelve, everyone slept practically everywhere. No one was surprised one morning when they found Tao passed out on the table after a vicious battle with homemade rice wine his mother sent him.

What he expected was the figure to slump on the bed opposite to Joon Myun’s and snore away like Joon Myun would in a few minutes. What he did not expect, however, were two large hands that instantly flipped him over and made him meet the newcomer’s eyes. 

"I asked Luhan to keep watch. He’s not as stupid as he looks, to be honest. He caught on before I did and planned this. The children are out. Yixing and Kyung Soo are being fattened up like hens, and thus, completely oblivious to their surroundings. The managers are asleep in their own rooms, so it’s just you and me right now. And you’re going to talk sooner or later because we have all night and a better part of tomorrow."

Joon Myun blinked. Yi Fan smirked. It was a cocky, you-thought-you-could-get-away smirk that Joon Myun rarely used. The screeching in his chest began to heighten as he realized just how close Yi Fan was. He was sitting next to him on his tiny bed, his arms across his chest and hip pressing into Joon Myun’s side. The ringing in his ear increased. Joon Myun gulped. 

Minutes passed. Two turned into ten turned into thirty. Joon Myun let a wistful smile grace his lip, despite the ravenous pain in his chest. Patience. Wu Yi Fan had patience. The idea was rather endearing. 

But more so, he was quiet. He didn’t push Joon Myun- he waited. He waited for him to open his mouth and tell something- anything. Yet Joon Myun was wordless and blinking and  _tired_. 

He smiled again, and Yi Fan smiled back. Yet he didn’t budge. He wouldn’t, Joon Myun knew. Not unless he got answers. 

He mentally told his chest to shut up. It didn’t. His ears began to hurt. 

Yi Fan helped him up- as if he’d known Joon Myun didn’t want to stay lying down. And thirty minutes was a long time for a staring contest. Sure, they blinked and perked up their lips and scoffed- but they didn’t speak. That counted for something, didn’t it? 

Joon Myun hoped it did, because his eyes were droopy and he was tired. Hopefully, if he fell asleep sitting, Yi Fan would let him slump over and snore like some degenerate. 

Or so he thought. Yi Fan picked up a glass of water off the floor. Joon Myun blinked. Where had that come from?

It didn’t matter, because Yi Fan pressed the full glass to his chest. He tentatively took it and downed all its contents, momentarily silencing the beating in his ears. 

Yi Fan’s soft fingers brushed against his knuckles as he took the glass from his hand and put it on the night table. The thudding in his chest picked up. His face fell. Yi Fan noticed and straightened up. A worried expression overtook him and he beckoned towards Joon Myun, and the screeching became so bad that tears threatened to spill from his eyes and humiliate him in front of his superior. 

So he threw himself on Yi Fan and pressed his wordless lips against his leader’s. His eyes shut themselves on his accord, and he pushed back the tears. He sagged against the warm chest and slipped from his lips. 

The screeching in his chest stopped as he drifted off to sleep. 

*******

He was hungry. That was the first thing he realized when found himself waking up from his slumber. A rather wonderful slumber, he decided. Otherwise, he’d been frowning while waking up. He wasn’t. 

He was warm, and there was someone else next to him.  _Attached_  to him. He found himself staring at an empty bed across from him. He turned his head slightly and saw that the clock read eleven. And then his eyes drifted to the door. It was locked. 

Someone’s chest was pressing against his back and shoulders. There was an arm thrown over his waist, pressing him against the contours of something defined and inviting. There was a slight tickle in his ear.

He blinked. Yi Fan was snuggled close to him. It was eleven o’clock. Kyung Soo had probably left leftovers in the fridge. 

The thudding in Joon Myun’s chest had ceased. The ringing in his ears had died out. There was silence. Complete and utter silence. 

Joon Myun carefully peeled himself away from the slumbering elder. He looked at the figure sleeping peacefully on his blue and green pillow, chest rising and falling steadily to a healthy beat. Joon Myun’s lips creased into a smile as he lightly threaded his fingers through disheveled blond locks. Softer than silk despite the dye jobs. 

And his face was so peaceful. Joon Myun wished that he could stare at it forever. He could, if he tried. The screaming in his chest and the sting in his ears were gone. He was free to be himself now. 

Yet he knew he couldn’t, and that brought a sad smile to his lips. He turned around and went to rise from the bed. 

Only to have a hand close around his wrist and pull him back down. He felt the back of his head meet a pillow and something big and tall crawl on top of him. 

Yi Fan smirked. Joon Myun blinked. Yi Fan had the decency to only shield him- not plop down on him. Otherwise, Joon Myun would probably pass out. He would, he decided. Something began to pick up in his chest again.

Yi Fan cocked his head to the side, sleep still caked in his eyes. “I’m not the type to participate in one night stands."

Joon Myun gawked. “We didn-"

"-but we did," Yi Fan pouted.

Joon Myun’s eyes almost rolled back in his head. 

Yi Fan chuckled. "… well. Maybe not that far, but we did sleep together." He informed. “As in… next to each other? That counts, I think." Yi Fan seemed to be thinking. “Luhan said so," he ended up saying. 

"You could have left," Joon Myun squeaked. 

"But then I wouldn’t be able to guilt trip you," Yi Fan noted. 

That brought a sad smile to Joon Myun’s lips, and _finally_ , Yi Fan got a hint.

"I was kidding," he deadpanned. 

"Last night, I’m so sorr-"

"-I’m not," he cut off. “It was rather enjoyable." At that point, Yi Fan got tired of supporting himself with only two arms, so he settled down. 

Right on top of Joon Myun. A soft, beautiful song began to play somewhere inside him.

"This is rather inapp-"

"-you could have told me earlier," he whispered, placing his legs next to Joon Myun, splaying the upper part of his body across Joon Myun’s chest. His breath tickled the milky white skin of his neck. “Had you told me, I wouldn’t have had to take drastic measures," he yawned. 

"I did," he found himself saying. “I told you so many times- but you chose not to listen."

Yi Fan remained silent. Joon Myun felt tired again. His hands were numb on his side as his chest breathed in the body heat Yi Fan emitted. It was nice. It would be temporary, however. Most things, except his smile, were. The music in his ears picked up. Was it the radio? Had one of the members left an ipod on that ran the entire night and then some?

"I was an idiot," Yi Fan yelped when Joon Myun tried to get up. “I should have paid attention. I didn’t, and I’m sorry." He grumbled. 

Joon Myun chuckled. A light, fleeting chuckle. “It’s OK." Because it was. The screeching had stopped, had it not? “Can I get up now?"

That seemed to wake Yi Fan up, because seconds later, he picked his head out of the crook in his neck and met him eye-to-eye. “Only if you promise to let me take you out."

"And why," Joon Myun began, the melody playing continuously in his ears, “would I do that?"

Yi Fan scoffed. “Because I don’t do one night stands."

A chorus of something sweet hit its climax. It felt nice to listen to. “If so, then yes."

And that’s all he needed, because shortly after, Yi Fan fell asleep again. And so did Joon Myun- to the sweet sound of something pleasant thrumming in his chest.


End file.
